Surely You Can't Be Serious

Dear God,

Please, oh please, explain how a complete ass-hat like this . . . .







Somehow lands a woman like this . . .




Tool-bag extraordinaire, Jerry O'Connell, actually dressed as Tickle Me Elmo for a Halloween party last weekend. He was likely accompanied by his smoking hot fiance, Rebecca Romain, who I'd like to imagine was dressed as a slutty nurse. Or a porn-star.

I see dead people.......and they're voting Democrat.

Oh, the horror. As if the rise of the walking dead and the ensuing zombie revolution weren't bad enough, the bastards have the nerve to vote Democrat?

Its just too much.

An analysis of state-wide records by the Poughkeepsie Journal reveals that 77,000 dead people remain on election rolls in New York State, and some 2,600 may have managed to vote after they had died. The study also found that Democrats are more successful at voting after death than Republicans, by a margin of four-to-one, largely because so many dead people seem to vote in Democrat-dominated New York City.

I guess maybe politics really has become the new "religion" of the Left.

Be prepared on election day!

(h/t Blue Crab Boulevard)

White Trash Wedding

Saturday I attended my first white-trash wedding. How did I know it was a white-trash wedding? Let me count the ways.

1. First off, I'm no high-brow guy myself, but when the "open bar" won't serve Captain Morgan or Jimmy Beam because its "too premium," then I'm pretty sure we're in white-trash territory. I've spent an inordinate amount of time in bars. In fact, my folks used to own a sports bar, but when I can't even get my hands on some Admiral Nelson forchristsakes, you know your wedding is full on white-trash.

2. It's not that there's particularly anything wrong with a white-trash wedding. I just think the wedding planners should have embraced it. Serve Schlitz instead of cheap champagne. Serve fried chicken instead of that strange chicken/salisbury steak abomination. Serve pigs-in-a-blanket....nevermind...they already had that one covered.

3. When the wedding guests have to wait outside the reception area because the staff is cleaning out a bar mitzvah that just ended, well, that's a pretty good sign we're white-trashing it up. And, speaking of bar mitzvahs, is it common these days for the newly minted "man" to dress up as some sort of jewish pimp. I'm talking pink pin striped suit, pink top hat, pink cane. Very strange.